


Chant Of The Heart

by Identiaetslos



Series: Nox Trevelyan Collection [11]
Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst, Cass ain't straight, Cassandra is a beautiful disaster, F/F, Fluff, I hate writing titles to my own work, Justinia wasn't straight either, Naughty Justinia, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-06
Updated: 2018-09-06
Packaged: 2019-07-07 20:08:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15915375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Identiaetslos/pseuds/Identiaetslos
Summary: Cassandra is in love with Nox Trevelyan, but coming out for her hasn't been so easy. Leliana is here to help.





	Chant Of The Heart

“What have I gotten myself into?” Seeker Cassandra Pentaghast asked more to the steaming hot cup of tea in front of her than she did to Leliana.

Her long time companion and Left Hand of the Divine glanced up, her fair, sandy colored brow arching with the growing impatience that Cassandra had noticed since Haven. “I don’t know you tell me,” Leliana replied after a moment and sipped her own cup of tea.

Cassandra lifted her eyes from the swirl of steam that stretched into the hazy sunlight cast through the prismatic windows of the Herald’s Rest and settled on the image of Nox Trevelyan, standing outside and playing a crude game with the Iron Bull and his Chargers. It had been some weeks since the fateful trip to the Storm Coast which saw her on the brink of death and in the arms of the same. And finding her relationship with her Inquisitor, her friend, in an entirely new light.

Well...perhaps not new was it? Unsure and torn between where her head and her heart took her, Cassandra buried her head in her hands and let out a sigh.

Leliana let out a soft laugh purposely loud and teasing enough for Cassandra to hear.

“You find my misery amusing,” Cassandra accused flatly.

“That’s one word for it,” countered her colleague.

Cassandra lifted her head.

Leliana flashed her a look and took another sip of tea. “Don’t make me disappointed, Cassandra. Your news of finally courting the Inquisitor after listening to endless gushing about her was probably the happiest news I’ve heard since before the Blight.”

“I do not _gush_ about her.”

Leliana snorted out a sip of tea, the spray misting through the sunlit air and onto Cassandra’s face. “Thanks to you, I not only know how she takes her afternoon tea, but that she snores, she prefers Orlesian cheddar served on Antivan water crackers, and that her favorite pair of underpants are blue...among the various other pieces of information that even in my profession, I would not wish to know. You were starting to sound like Justinia over Mother Lelanne.”

Cassandra wiped her face with her collar and regarded Leliana for a moment and frowned. “What do you mean?”

“Mother Lelanne. You remember the Chantry mother from Du Chense, tall, skinny, pretty hair that remained blonde despite her age.”

“I recall, yes. But I don’t remember Most Holy...gushing about her.”

Leliana laughed and sat back in her chair. “Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten about how she fretted over her visits: ‘Leliana, get us some more sunflowers for the record hall. Cassandra, move that statue.’ She would get so excited. Maybe it was with me, but she would talk endlessly about the things she and Mother Lelanne used to do together--”

“Skinny dip in the reflection pool in the Monastery when they thought no one was watching.”

“Slip verses of erotic poetry into the Canticle Books.”

“That was her?” Cassandra asked with a frown.

“One of my people caught them doing it late one night.”

“And I accused the groundskeeper.” Cassandra darkened again.

“At least you didn’t shackle him in the wine cellar,” Leliana joked and nodded out the window to where Nox was. “Justinia would stop at one of the baths before Lelanne's arrival.” A fond smile stretched across Leliana’s face the more she remembered. “And then Justinia would follow her like a lost puppy. The Divine: Totally wrapped around the fingers of a Chantry Mother…in more ways than one.”

Cassandra's attention was where Leliana nodded: Outside with the Inquisitor. A bright smile lit Nox's freckled face as she ran from the elf in Bull’s party and was tackled into the mud by Lieutenant Aclassi. Josephine would surely have her head for muddying that fresh uniform, but looking at the happiness in Nox’s face, it would be worth it.

More memories surfaced. This time of the dungeon in Haven, now buried under the mountains. How different things were then. Nox had been some idiot, a traitor, that Cassandra captured. Despite whatever Cassandra had thrown at her during her interrogation, Nox had remained level headed through her confusion. She always worked with her problems instead of roaring at them.

And her problems had been the same except for the part of being seventy-eighth in line to the Nevarran Throne. Only her family hadn’t been killed, they cast her out, tried foisting her off on a Chantry whose Divine…

Cassandra stopped herself as she realized what Leliana was saying. “Wait, are you suggesting Most Holy liked the company of other women?”

Leliana laughed again. “Maker’s Breath, Cassandra. We tried to tell you. Right around the time that Sister Edielle started spending a lot of time paying attention whenever it was your time to recite the Chant.”

“She had been trying to teach me how to sing,” Cassandra said evenly. “Nothing else happened.”

“I know! I lost twenty Sovereigns over that!”

Cassandra exhaled sharply and sipped, the now lukewarm temperature doing nothing to assuage the frustration bubbling around in her heart. “How did you and Lady Cousland cope?”

“We didn’t. We made others cope around us."

“Did Justinia know?”

“Oh yes. Honestly, I think that was one of the things that inspired her with Lelanne. She even helped us with well...” Leliana let her voice trail off. Trouble flickered across her face and she let the last thought die on the tip of her tongue. “It is not a sin to love someone,” she said after a moment.

“I know,” Cassandra replied. “Andraste teaches us that love is the Maker’s greatest gift.”

“Then why do you refuse that gift?” Leliana steepled her hands and regarded Cassandra studiously.

Cassandra felt her face grow hot under such judgment and averted her eyes to Nox, still playing outside with Bull and his men. Well...playing was hardly the word for it. Sure, they had smiles on their faces and it was fun, but they were combat exercises just like the ones she played with Cassandra when they were out there together. And a means to establish a silent communication when fighting: Bull would know that Nox dropped her shoulder when she intended to charge, and favored Ferelden guard styles over Orlesian or even Templar and that they worked with her large size: She was weak on the off-hand. When stripped of her Greatsword, she struggled with other weapons like daggers and shields, often over-correcting herself or swinging too hard and leaving herself open.

Bull was a practiced fighter and a Reaver just like the Inquisitor while Krem favored the trusty sword and shield like Cassandra. However, Krem was more cautious, which would leave Nox often having to carry the weight of the fight. Working on stamina like this game they played outside would benefit her if she were to go into combat with someone like Krem, and Krem would be good at reinforcing offhand practice with Nox. Perhaps he could break through Nox's stubborn will enough to finally take some of her offhand training lessons to heart, Cassandra mused.

Cassandra shook her head as she realized her thoughts rambled. Just like Leliana accused her of. The latter’s words finally hit her ears and she thought of her conversation in the surgeon’s tent on the Storm Coast. “My entire life, I have been shown one thing: Love was not only meant to connect to someone, but the sweetened garnish to the Maker’s tenant of furthering the survival of our people. When I look at her, I do feel something, but how can it be something more than foolishness?”

“Just because you fall in love with someone who also has lady parts doesn’t mean that they suddenly stop working. You sound like some of the stuffed shirts you used to complain to me about,” Leliana retorted.

“I do, don’t I?” Cassandra said retrospectively.

“What is the most basic tenant that you and I follow?”

“The Maker Is,” Cassandra replied.

“Is turning a gift such as love into a weapon the work of the Maker? Is happiness only reserved for one kind of people? Aren’t we all the Children of the Maker? How many loveless man and woman couplings exist in the highest ranks of Thedas and what has that brought us? Greed. Death, destruction, endless suffering...a Blight. This woman who is perfect for you not only fell out of the Fade and into your lap, but you had her in irons and she still wants to love you. Would you be happier playing the part a soulless society wants for you, or does she make your heart sing?”

Nox had finished her game with the Chargers and was thoroughly muddied to the point Cassandra was surprised Josephine wasn’t already scolding her for not only needlessly destroying freshly laundered clothes, but mud was now streaked across her face and in her hair. She beamed at Bull and was clapped on a broad shoulder as they made their way to the tavern.

Cassandra’s heart began to race as she watched the Inquisitor move with her long strides and then the door pushed open, the group entering.

“Welcome Inquisitor! Thanks for the mud!” The bartender shouted sarcastically.

“I aim to please,” Nox responded with a curtsy to the laughter of Bull and the others.

Cassandra remained frozen in her chair. She wanted to say something to get the Inquisitor’s attention, even if it was for a split second. Searching her now empty mind, she felt Leliana pull her from the chair and drag her over to Nox.

“Inquisitor,” Leliana greeted.

Nox turned around and immediately her brow knitted in curiosity upon seeing Cassandra. “Sister...Seeker. What’s wrong?” She asked more of to Cassandra than Leliana. Nox's voice was like velvet against Cassandra's aching soul.

Leliana just laughed and let Cassandra go. “She wants to say hello, but I think the mud frightens her,” she joked and wandered back to the table.

Cassandra remained. Nox wasn’t much taller than her, but enough that she had to tilt her head somewhat to make eye contact. Realizing she was still nervous, she decided to turn that into something useful, something Nox would appreciate like another joke. “Josephine is going to kill you,” she said.

Nox laughed. “Yeah, she will, but we had fun right?”

Nox’s attention was back on the Chargers who roared at her and passed her a tankard of ale. She offered it to Cassandra.

“No,” Cassandra declined.

“Suit yourself,” Nox replied accepting a second mug. Shadowed by the Inquisitor, her freckles danced with her merriment. She smelled of mud and the warm smell that Cassandra associated with Nox when she was near. It reminded Cassandra of the way she felt in the wagon, the way she felt in the field—all of it was too much for her to bear.

“Actually, I think I should...” Cassandra’s voice trailed off and she took the previously offered tankard from Nox’s hands and drank. The ale was a tonic for her suddenly parched throat and a heart that threatened to punch its way through her breast and onto the floor. Why was she nervous? Nox never gave her a fright like this, or...yes, she did. But it wasn’t so much that adorable smile, or the thought of being under her arms once more, or sleeping against her shoulder, the way she looked when they were alone...or like now. Even caked in mud she was the most handsome person she'd ever seen.

Realizing she had the attention of the entire bar, Cassandra finished her mug. Her intention was to play it off, but instead she found Nox again. Her sky blue eyes were soft just for her, but amusement curled around the corners of her face and on those lips she remembered, but hadn’t touched since that day.

“Are you okay?” Nox asked again and took the tankard from Cassandra’s hands and placed it, along with Nox’s own empty cup on the bar.

“Yes...” Cassandra replied defensively. “No...I...” Words caught in her throat as her heart and mind warred with each other. She was the Inquisitor, the Herald of Andraste, a woman...and yet looking at her now, it was like staring into a future. A wonderful future. This was silly. Tomorrow, Corypheus could come or the world could end in some other way and what would be gained by Cassandra holding back from the woman she was crazy about? Leliana's words were true; this tradition of the Chantry was dated, even Justinia knew and disobeyed it. As did Leliana when she remained with Lady Cousland despite her vows. Clearly, Andraste didn't mind if this was who she chose to bring Her message. Maybe Nox was part of that message.

Nox was still, regarding Cassandra with inquisitive, soft eyes, once more meant for her alone. She seemed to read her thoughts as she always did. To her credit, she said nothing. She'd already said everything anyway. Cassandra knew better than anyone that Nox wasn't the kind to beg. She was hers to lose.

Setting aside doubt and regard to whatever anyone else would think: In this room, in the Inquisition, in all of Thedas, Cassandra grabbed Nox by her belt and kissed her lips gently. "I love you," she whispered.


End file.
